Question:
I WORK WITH SOMEONE WHOSE VOICE IS TOO LOUD. I CANNOT LISTEN TO HIM BECAUSE THE NOISE LEVEL HURTS MY EARS. WHAT CAN I DO TO TRY AND GET HIM TO REALISE HOW LOUD HE IS.
Answer:
These are such complicated questions because so many issues about self-image and social skills hover around the basic vocal manifestation. Honesty and kindness are the best policy. But even more important is curiosity. If he is hard of hearing you might consider that he needs to speak loudly in order to hear himself. He might not know how loud he is. Have you asked, “Do you know how loudly you are speaking?” If he cannot hear this, it will be hard for him to change and blaming him or being frustrated won’t help.
If this is a high-energy person, you can preface a request by acknowledging how dynamic he is. Then you can have the humility to treat this as your issue — tell this person you have a hearing sensitivity, which is in a sense absolutely true, even if it is only to his voice, and say: “I don’t suppose you could speak a little less loudly to help me out, could you?”
If his personality is such that he is just a blow hard or a bully, you might have to go through HR or other channels available to you to get support in addressing the issue. Maybe one of you can be moved to a new work station. If it is affecting job performance or client relationships then he needs to be referred to an Executive Voice coach.