It is profoundly stressful when the tone and quality of the voice do not match our sense of self, or our gender and age identity. It becomes psychologically painful when we are misunderstood, misjudged or ridiculed. While it is always ideal to work with a voice coach or speech therapist to make vocal changes, there are also always things we can try on our own.
To sound more masculine or mature:
— the pitch needs to lower
— the voice needs to be clear and strong with no excess air
— there needs to be more resonance in the chest
To sound more feminine or youthful:
— the pitch needs to be higher
— the voice needs to be lighter without becoming breathy
— there needs to be more resonance in the head
To lower the voice:
–do a descending sigh on “AH” and allow the voice to gently go as low as possible without collapsing the posture or losing air
— hum and work with open “OH” and “AH” vowels (place a hand on your chest to be sure you can feel the sympathetic vibrations there)
To raise the voice:
— smile
— do ascending sirens on “EE”
— make little squeaks to find high sounds
— hum and work with “EE” and “AYE” vowels (make sure you can feel sympathetic vibrations in your nose and the roof of your mouth)
If you are disciplined and motivated, you can use audio and internet programs to help you.While I don’t wish to promote my own work over that of others, I created a Vocal Tune-Up for Speakers that can be downloaded at www.meanttobeheard.com. It has a full set of exercises which, if you practice, can help you develop your natural voice to sound appropriate for your gender and age.